S.D.A.W.M.A (Sleep Deprevation Associated with Mild Arachnophobia)

WARNING: This post contains reflections of a personal encounter with an arachnid commonly known as a "SPIDER" If you have trouble dealing with the thought of said creature please refrain from reading this post. assiram



I have had trouble sleeping lately.

Two Nights ago, I went downstairs for a drink and returned to my room see a rather large spider on the wall slightly above my bed. I trapped it in a glass for momentary identification and then with the supervision of dad, flushed it down the drain of our sink. I can't say I have an irrational fear of spiders, but at the same time the event unnerved me greatly. I did not fall asleep until after my brother left for school. My parents both teased me about getting so flustered by it. However they ought to be glad it's dead because it looked similar to what a brown recluse looks like. I'm not a spider identifying expert though.

I found another similar looking spider on our porch today. The spider had built a massive flat web in the corner of our porch. The web contained an assortment of bugs the spider had trapped, and destroyed. Though I'm a far superior being, I still was impressed by the little bastard's hunting job. The spider oddly enough bore identical features as the one found in my room, though larger.

Naturally my first instinct was to leave the spider alone. It had obviously done a great job of killing other bugs, some of which were mosquito's. However at the same time, I imagined the spider breeding more spiders and a potential house invasion like the one previously mentioned.

I knew what had to be done.

I went to our basement and grabbed a large bottle with clear liquid in it. It was a bottle of insect spray. On the back I searched the long list of little critters it was capable of killing. Almost at the bottom of the list was the predator of choice; the spider.

Contemplating the task ahead, I summoned my brother to witness the spider killing about to happen knowing he would be entertained by my deed.

I showed him to the web, pointing to a small tunnel in the web where the little dweller was hiding.

I knew I could simply blast the web itself and the job would eventually complete itself. But that would be no fun.

I told Patrick I need another bug to sacrifice to get the spider out in the main part of the web. After scouring the sidewalk for a few moments, the target came into view. It was a black ant, plenty large and quite harmless. I picked up the ant and made sure it couldn't bite me.

Then we quickly went back to the porch and without further a due I dropped the ant onto the spiders web. After a brief struggle the spider emerged with amazing speed out of its hole to inject it's venom and paralyze it's future meal. Patrick blurted out "oh my god" amazed by the sheer size of the spider. It was after all larger than a quarter with legs outstretched.

However as soon as it emerged and pounced on its victim, my lightning fast reflexes leveled the bottle and blasted a deadly splash of bug spray, saturating the foul beast. The spider shot back into its web almost as quick as it came out.

Knowing the show was over, I decided to take my leave but not after blasting a few more shots in the tunnel of the web and on the web itself. I know to some this might be overkill, but I wanted to leave no question that it perish.

After boasting of my successful task to my parents, I forgot about the job for a few hours.

When I returned later I found the spider shriveled into a ball in the middle of its web. dead.


What can I say... slaying spiders ain't easy but someones gotta do it.